In funeral service, we live with the reality that our work is misunderstood. Misinformation circulates easily, and unfortunately, even our own national organization sometimes adds to the confusion.
Recently, a member service representative sent out a message that included this laughable line:
“Much like nurses, you’re often on call and navigating long days that rarely look the same.”
We respect the hard work nurses do—truly. But nurses are generally shift workers. They have schedules, rotations, and defined hours. Funeral directors, on the other hand, are not “often” on call. We are always on call –midnight, dawn, holidays, blizzards—it doesn’t matter. Death doesn’t check the schedule. There is no clock to punch out from, no shift to hand over. To compare our profession to nursing in this way shows a lack of understanding of what funeral service actually entails.
The Danger of Irresponsible Trends
Equally troubling is the way this same person has referenced supposed “trends” that don’t exist. One example: the claim that cherished family recipes are being added to tombstones.
There is no such trend. It has been an interesting, yet extremely rare occurrence. What’s more, spreading this kind of misinformation is irresponsible. A woman recently called me in anguish after hearing about the supposed “trend.” She said that had she known it was a trend, she would have put her mother’s recipe on her monument. Imagine the pain of feeling you missed a cultural moment that never even existed.
Why Accuracy Matters
Funeral service is not a novelty industry. It is a profession rooted in care, responsibility, and legacy. When outsiders—or even insiders—try to represent us without understanding the depth of our work, they risk trivializing the grief of families and misinforming the public.
Here’s a radical idea: before sending out inane messages, maybe familiarize yourself with the field you’re supposed to represent. We are not “like nurses.” We are not chasing trends. We are guardians of memory, stewards of ritual, and companions to families in their most vulnerable moments. And until our national organization stops treating it like a punchline, new hires will remain as clueless as the memos that welcome them.
The Morte Girls 