We can barely contain our disgust at this article. In essence, the writer is complaining that the funeral home made her deceased mother look too good, and it has traumatized her. She writes: “I thought she was alive again. She looked better than she had for years. Her skin was pink and smooth; her hair, nicely groomed. Even her fingernails were done, and she had a very small smile on her face.”
This woman is hawking a book, and that likely accounts for her hyperbole, laughable terminology (slumber room, coffin) and misleading information (once again someone who can’t understand that cremation is a type of final disposition and does not preclude embalming). She did, however, catch the attention of a major magazine with her tripe. And she is yet another voice slamming the work we do with such caring and dedication.
This is one (seemingly disturbed ) woman’s opinion, and we know that this is not a normal reaction to a perfectly presented remains. As we have seen time and again, it is quite the opposite: families cannot thank us enough for taking away the ravages of disease.
Funeral service is being slammed on a regular basis. Unfortunately, part of the problem is that we have stayed silent while kooks (often inexperienced and/or unlicensed) speak for our honorable industry. We encourage funeral directors everywhere to reach out in rebuttal to these defamatory articles, starting with this one.
The New York Time’s email: editors@time.com
One response to “How a Common Death Ritual Made It Harder to Mourn the Loss of My Mother ————-Say What!?”
I am not in the business. I am a physician. I find that we live in a rather divided and hostile society. Many are eager to search out individuals to be blamed when things happen, and death is an often unpleasant event about which we largely are unable to control. People wish to strike out at those most closely involved in providing services for the deceased. Even under the times of most grievous strain, it is a sign of bad character when people do so. This correspondent seeks to capitalize on turning the upsetting character of loss into a book, and eagerly creates “good guys” and “bad guys” where there are none. Such an activity merely worsens people’s loss.
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